Tony Robbins has said that if we trade our expectation for appreciation, life can dramatically improve. There is no doubt that if we appreciate and have gratitude for what we have in ourselves, our surrounding and circumstances, and, others, life certainly shines brighter.
But as some would say, "In reality" that it is "easier said than done". Fair point, though not the grounds for an excellent outcome. Yet "reality" for many, while used as a checkpoint against idealism is often more about validation. Many, for example, tell us about how they see reality and that it is others, who, don't seem to understand quite how the world works (for them)
In essence, sometimes we expect more of ourselves and less of others. And other times, less of ourselves and more of others. Of course, the big challenge, expecting much of ourselves AND from others. After all, if you can raise your standards, then why can't everyone else? Again, fair point, yet once again, this rarely leads to an excellent outcome.
It is admirable to raise one standards. In fact it is a MUST in many ways to improve your life from level to level as you grow. That said, we have to look at a couple of things in this decision to, well, expect more of yourself. These would include:
1. What are the ORIGINS of these expectations?
Are these higher standards founded in your dreams and desires OR in a need to show something, prove to someone, or gain respect and significance, maybe attention from others?
Are the standards you expect from others rooted in your need to validate your own choices, OR, to help them with their own?
2. What are the OUTCOMES of these expectations?
Are your expectations driving or pushing others away, or bringing you closer to those that are in your circles of friends, family and co-workers etc?
Are these standards paying off, improving your relationships and getting results, OR are they stressing you out, hurting relationships and keep you going in circles?
The Moment of INSPIRATION
As noted, there is nothing wrong with expectations--of yourself or others really; depending on the why and the who and the what as noted in the Origins and Outcomes above. Throw in some appreciation and there may even be some momentum created as your standards rise and your results begin to flow in.
Still, if we want to be consistent. If we are looking for authenticity, passion and growth from raising your standards. If we want to be energized as as well as embraced to rising up with higher expectations to reach your peak states, then we have to consider the element of INSPIRATION.
INSPIRATION, used for the purposes of this article relates to two basic elements.
1. What Inspired you to raise the standards and expectations you have for yourself?
2. How do your standards, expectations and yes, results Inspire others to raise their own?\
In other words, are you raising your standards and expectations of self for the right reasons and by doing so, are you inspiring others to do the same for themselves? See, inspiration is the spark that starts the fire of the standards we raise and the expectations we strive for. If the spark is right, the fire will provide warmth, light and invitation to others to create their own spark as well.
Ultimately, we are not responsible FOR others as much as we are TO them. In other words, in life and business as we raise others up we also continue to elevate ourselves as well. We don't have to force it, fight it or forget about it. We just need to be inspired, set the standard, meet the expectations we then have for ourselves, and then, just maybe, be that moment, that spark, that allows other people to see in the example you have set.
Bottom line. Leaders don't simply inspire people, they inspire others to inspire themselves. And that is how we make life better, help others and do our small part to leave a legacy and perhaps, with a little grace, even leave the world a little better than we found it.
Dennis Giannetti is a Master Ninja Selling Instructor, Go-Giver Speaker and Tony Robbins (RMT) Life and Business Coach. He has been coaching and training people and organizations since 1995. You can learn more at www.dennisgiannetti.biz