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The Definition of Hell? Why New Years Remind Us of Our Old Selves and Why We Typically Do Nothing t

I once heard th expression that, "The definition of hell is on the last day of your life, you meet the person you could have become". Deep, scary and kind of depressing, right?

Yet, every year you hear many people profess that this year will be different. This year, things are going to change! And there is nothing wrong with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make changes, improvements, and to better our life in some way. After all, a journey of a thousand miles literally does begin with that first step.

But what happens after that first step is taken? What happens after we decide we want more? That we must be different this time? Sadly, some research indicates that about 25% of those who make new years resolutions quit.....ARE YOU READY? After the FIRST WEEK!

See, what people want and what they are willing to do are two different things. Yes, they can be connected, but in reality, the patterns of behavior and daily rituals we live by up to this point have created the habits and even an identity that make us who we are in the present. And that is hard to change.

When we start something new, it is exciting to us. We literally can feel the rush of adrenaline and the burst of energy that come with possibility. But, as time goes on, in order to grow into that opportunity, we must change these habits and rituals that have shaped the identity we now carry. And, what is even more challenging is that whether we know it or not, we will fight to keep the identity. You may recognize this fight. It has some deadly weapons. Such weapons as fear, doubt, negativity, worry, procrastination, you name it. You will hear rationalizations or "rational lies" as to why things are betters they are. How, if you try to make changes, you will probably fail. Why work hard for a dream, things aren't that get by just fine. Why open up your heart to someone, when they wil just break it? Why eat healthy and exercise, when it's your time it is your time.

Really? Yes, really. And, that is why most of us forgo our resolutions, give up on our dreams and settle for what we have now in leiu of what we could be later.

Life is about Risks, Rewards and Relationships.

  • Is the juice worth the squeeze (so to speak)?

  • Is what I may get out of this effort, truly worth the time, energy and money to obtain it

  • How will this dream, this pursuit, this goal effect who I am to others and to myself?

All valid questions. Yet, the answer to those questions are more powerful than you think. And ironically, there is no right answer to any of them. There is only what is right with and for you, in this moment, based on who you feel you are, and what you choose to become.

I don't know if the "definition" of "hell" is in fact that moment when yo do look back you have such regrets that it may haunt you. I do believe though that life really isn't about those last moments when we do look back so much as it is those times when we choose to look forward. When we decide that our past is a lesson, our preent a gift and our future, our choice.

It's not easy, let's be honest. But it is possible. There is some science behind it. You will need to be clear and committed, as well as consistent and connected to your dream. But in reality, the only things that are real to us are what we choose to believe about the world and our place in it. Decide. Life will wait....for now. Will you?

If you are looking for a breakthrough or want to create a blueprint so you can play bigger, find yor voice or live that dream, drop me an email at

Happy New Year

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